On an intense journey of self-discovery, I set out to shed the parts of myself shaped by trauma. Each hardship left its mark. Childhood physical abuse made me a fighter fueled by anger. The suicides of my father, sister, followed by the death of my mother, left a deep wound of abandonment. Sexual abuse  eroded my self-worth, and taught me to believe that love and intimacy weren’t safe. In trying to unlearn these patterns, I discovered that letting go of one form of harm sometimes gave rise to another.

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During a year of anger management classes, we were required to trigger each other’s anger so we could practice neutralizing it. I became exceptionally skilled at this, so much so that the teacher assigned me to be the one who could trigger everyone. I could sit across from a total stranger and have them enraged in under a minute, flat. Not by choice, but by study. By observing subtle cues like pupils dilating, changes in breath, or a shift in posture, I learned where people’s buttons were and how to navigate the raw dynamics of emotion. This study of human behavior became a new kind of weapon.

 

This is when I learned you become who you train to be. This version of myself was still not the one I wanted to embody. My inner darkness became both my challenge and my survival tool, a struggle many of us know all too well.

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I came to understand that darkness planted by others can take root deeply within us. Over time, our actions—shaped by that shadow—allow it to grow until it influences everything we do. At certain points, vengeance felt good—it became almost an art form. But eventually, I realized the satisfaction I felt wasn’t about anyone else; it was my own pain needing to be soothed. That anger, that urge for revenge, was just my inner wound screaming out for attention.

 

This is the battleground of transformation. The masks we wear are challenged by the people we love, the people we clash with, and even those we barely know. Each encounter forces us to confront who we truly want to be. The momentum of my mind felt impossible to outrun, and for years, negative thoughts dominated, especially after the suicide of my little sister.

 

For 15 years, I dedicated myself to harnessing that momentum and redirecting destructive patterns. That’s when I discovered the power of rhythm, movement, and strategic wordplay—tools that bypass the part of the mind that calls “bullshit” on positive change.

 

I’ve mastered rewiring negative thought patterns. The way you think determines how you feel, how you feel determines how you act, and how you act determines the results of your life. My programs transform from the inside out: once thought patterns shift, confidence naturally follows, clarity sparks ideas, action flows, and a powerful domino effect ripples through every area of life.

 

Through this work, I’ve realized that strengthening our spiritual selves has a ripple effect on the world. Healing ourselves doesn’t just change our own lives—it lifts collective consciousness, reminding us that every step toward self-discovery contributes to a larger evolution.

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When one rises, we all rise!

- Angela Jean

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